Forwards
by LittleLinor
Summary: One fascinates her, the other is her strengh. One forced her to give up life as she knew it, the other made her go forwards and live again. POR, Mist, Jill and Lethe, friendship/romance. Set during PoR


Ahem... This has been sitting on my computer for a couple of weeks... and i've been prompted to post it, so...

I apologise for any mistakes that might have slipped past my proof-reading. I didn't have a beta for this, or at least the two who read it didn't tell me about any mistakes... i'll take that as a hint that there weren't...

Before doing the disclaimer, I'll have to give you people a nice little warning.

First, this is shoujo-ai, meaning girls together. If you don't like it then don't bother reading and click the back button.

Second, this isn't a pairing but a threesome. Because it WORKS and every time I try to pair up two of those three I feel something is missing, though I admit JillLethe works all right. If you have a problem with THAT, then definitely click the back button.

Finally, I HOPE no one has any problems with beorc x laguz, but I guess if anyone is open-minded enough to not have a problem with the two above statements, then that won't be a problem either.

so... DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fire Emblem, nor its characters, though there are a few (namely, Soren, Nephenee, Jill, Ranulf, and RD Mist and ROlf) that I wouldn't mind owning :insert little heart here:

Dedicated to... the friends who helped me through a rather big ordeal recently.

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Forwards

Some would call it the road to redemption But to Jill it was different, and it was essential that it stayed different. The whole point in joining Ike's group had been to follow her own beliefs and feelings, rather than follow duty blindly, even when it meant acting on those convictions would hurt her. If the road she wanted to tread now was stepped on for the sake of doing what was right, then it lost its purpose. It wasn't her redemption she sought, she wasn't sure she could atone for the wrong she had done in her quest for glory, but something deeper and more important.

Feelings were feelings, coming from the heart, and not dictated by her mind or guilt. But she had no idea if Lethe would believe her.

It had been thanks to Mist, she realized. Without the Valkyrie, she would have believed her interest in Lethe to be born from fascination alone, the fascination she had felt from the moment she had boarded the Crimean ship as the crow laguz - "sub-humans", she had called them back then - were attacking it. Fascination came from the lethal grace in Lethe's movements, beautiful yet at the same time disgusting and fear-inducing to her laguz-hating mind. Surprise at the way she fought alongside Ike and Rolf, shielding Mist and Rhys from attack, doubt as she fought her fellow laguz for the sake of human friends, it all assaulted her and she had stayed. Now, a couple of months later, it seemed a life-time away. Even her surprise at how _human_ Lethe looked when she transformed back seemed stupid and ignorant to her now; Lethe's "human" form was still laguz, and trying to assimilate her to beorc was a way of denying her nature. At first she had felt reluctant, and stayed alone, observing from afar as the mercenary group lived, until Mist had arrived with her worry and her cheerfulness and had forced her to start living again. Pushed by the girl, who had still been a cleric back then, she had gathered her courage to ask Lethe all the questions that had plagued her since she had arrived. And each time she had been pushed away, but the way in which Lethe had done it… she could feel that it was more to let her see the truth for herself than to really reject her.

And now that Lethe had offered friendship and acknowledged her strength and convictions, when she had thought things would be for the best, she found that her introspection was only at its beginning. Her father was dead, without ever telling her if the path she had chosen was right or not (She realized Mist had known they were going to fight him and never told her when she had to hunt the girl around the camp to shake the guilt out of her. Somehow she had decided that it was her fault Jill hadn't gotten to talk to her father, but Jill knew otherwise. Despite her brave words, she would probably have crumbled in that battle, having to fight not only her father, but soldiers who trained side by side and were, for some, older brothers of a kind.) , and now the feelings she had always put down on curiosity seemed to run deeper, something she wasn't sure she was ready to deal with.

Suddenly she was alone, and the world had become so much bigger in so short a time, while the lines of right and wrong had blurred and the walls between races disappeared.

She wasn't alone, though she realized. Whenever she felt down, or alone, within minutes she'd hear the sound of hooves or footsteps and Mist would appear, with a smile or one of her meat rolls. Mist, who somehow always brought the best out of people, and could apparently feel negative emotions in a radius as impressive as Reyson's. Mist, who could cry for those who had forgotten how to cry, and had held Jill as she cried into her hair for her father. Mist, who was now gently pushing her towards Lethe, with grins and head movements, day after day, as if she could read Lethe's heart like the herons could read minds. She had to wonder how the girl could give so much of herself for others, apparently without searching for her own happiness. But it seemed as if seeing her two friends edging closer to each other with each passing day made her happier than any relationship of her own.

"You know, you shouldn't hold back. You've gone such a long way already, now you've started, you have to keep trusting your heart."

Those words had been the catalyser that had finally got her moving. It was too late to go back, Mist was right. From the moment she had run off from Haar's squad and after the Crimean ship, her path had always lain in change, and in forwards movement. So she had gotten closer and closer to Lethe, never yet saying the words that were slowly forming in her mind, but creating bonds, learning to learn with the laguz girl (whose age she had never dared ask, one of the secrets left to uncover), sharing past experience and knowledge.

It seemed to Jill that something was lacking, though… whenever she got close to telling Lethe what was really on her mind, she would stop, not out of fear, but because it seemed unfitting, as if the painting was incomplete. She told Mist about it and the only girl only laughed, teasing her about the contrast between her courage on the battlefield and her fears now. But it wasn't fear, and Mist must know it, the way she usually knew of Jill's feelings before she knew them herself.

It was a mystery, or rather two mysteries. Mist's sudden blindness, and the missing space in the relationship she was trying to build.

"Mist had been distant lately…"

Jill turned to Lethe, who had been sunbathing with an obvious bliss now that they were back to the warmer climate of the Crimean border.

"I know… suddenly she feels like a stranger, even though she still acts like my best friend… It's kinda painful…"

There was a silence, as Jill tried to unravel the secret of Mist's change in attitude. Lethe's breathing reached her ears, slow and deep and nearly in rhythm with the slight wind. Listening to it, Jill felt ghostly strands of hair against her fingers, hair that wasn't there but should be, and a warmth that wasn't the sun, but kept her warm even when a gust blew.

"… I miss her" said Lethe suddenly. She turned on her side so she was facing Jill and gave her a deep look. "You might not know it, but she's always following us around, but never coming close. I can hear her, smell her… but if I try to go to her she disappears, or is busy when I reach her."

Jill could still feel that warmth, and touch that short hair in her mind… then there was a laugh on the air, one she hadn't heard in the past few weeks, and suddenly the picture was complete in her heart, and she stood up, ignoring Lethe's frown of surprise.

_She told me to always go forwards and trust my feelings, so I shall. I can't prove this will work but I can feel it… if this works, it will be through her and with her._

"Where are you going?"

Jill looked down to Lethe and smiled.

"To find the missing piece."

Lethe didn't answer, but Jill didn't wait for one, trusting the smile that had appeared in the cat laguz's eyes and the momentum that had always driven her forwards. She walked past the edges of the camp, past Oscar who was guarding the entrance and Ike who was reviewing supplies with Soren, all the way to Mist and Titania's tent. She entered it silently and crossed her arms as Mist looked up at her in surprise.

"Jill, back already? So did you ask her? You seemed really close when I saw you this afternoon…"

There it was, ever so subtle, sadness in her voice, mixed with the happiness she felt for both of them. Jill bent down and grabbed her hand, drawing her up to stand.

"Come with me."

She dragged her back to the borders of the camp, ignoring Ike's bewildered stare and Soren's raised eyebrow, Rolf's knowing little smirk and Oscar's warm smile, out into the meadow and to Lethe. The hand in hers was warm and she knew it meant Mist was blushing, so she smiled, reassured that she was doing the right thing. When they paused in front of Lethe she grinned to the Laguz, turned to Mist and kissed her brow, then caught hold of her hand again and made her face the third girl with her.

"Lethe… I think we both have something to tell you."

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If you liked it or have any crit, please hit the review button and tell me.


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